Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize