Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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