i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Your cock deserves a montage
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
