He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
