I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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