ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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