I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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