shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
whose parrot is this?
We had sex on a dog bed..
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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