Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize