Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize