Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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