he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
