Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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