wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
In other news, I just burned my penis
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
