I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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