I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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