There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize