If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
