Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
