Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
