Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
