a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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