It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
thus making me awesome and them whores
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
