THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
