Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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