That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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