I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Randomize
