We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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