Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
only you would photoshop your dick
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
