hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
