barbara walters just said penis...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Let's get the cat blown out
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
