How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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