Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
you had me at cake vodka
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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