Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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