he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
