so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
