If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
