I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
kristin has been a bad kristin
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
