Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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