How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Two words: blizzard sex
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
