whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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