i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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