Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
