After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
