I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
