Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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