This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
