i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
