he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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