Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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