True but thats because hes a fetus.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize