Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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