Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize