"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Did we literally take a cab across the street
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
