He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
