Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
