Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
