the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
