i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
