The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
