garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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