Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
