hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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