Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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