Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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