No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
